Who does not want to belong, to feel seen and heard? But consider the possibility that longing for connection can actually being separating. Needing another’s attention, approval, love and support, though not inherently misdirected, can be misconstrued. In an attempt to form meaningful relationships we often manipulate ourselves and others. We present an image of who we think we should be to the world.
I myself placed all my hopes of popularity into looking good, smiling, being pretty and being needed. Twenty five years spent taking prozac, dieting, exercising, and putting on a happy face did not bring me closer to others. In fact, my obsession with the “false self” I was working so hard to cultivate was actually left little or no time to invest in meaningful relationships. I did not understand that to have friends one has to be a friend, available, loving, compassionate and forgiving.
Ironically, it took getting sick and learning the true meaning of suffering for me to realize that if I am ever to connect to others, my real connection must first be to myself and to the Divine from whence I came.
Richard Rohr writes that “like seeks like.” The more connected I am to the Divine, the more I see the Divine in others and they in me. Being filled by Divine light inherently means that the light within will spill out into the world. Thus giving and serving come not out of need for attention but from an overabundance of love that must be shared.
The essence of the Divine, of creative love is our natural state of being. When we tap into this heart space, into universal consciousness, we can live a solitary existence and yet be connected to the whole world. We can reach out to others without fear of rejection, because there really is no rejection. All connection arises from the Divine within and moves out from one soul to another.
Writing into the Light 