I just sent this out via Constant Contact to all the students at my yoga studio. If you received and read the email, please skip down to the 6th paragraph that starts “Wow, I am finally going public…..”
In 28 days I will turn the ownership and daily operation of Midtown Yoga over to Grace Harwood. I am delighted that Grace was interested in buying the studio and that we were able to come to an agreement. I am absolutely sure that this is best thing for me and for Midtown Yoga. I have known for some time that I no longer wanted the daily responsibility of running a yoga studio, but I now realize how hard it will be to let go. I am going to process the transition by posting every day in my blog. (Click here to read the blog: Writing into the Light
Hopefully my yoga practice and the writing I do will help me make this transition with grace (no pun intended), and perhaps my sharing will help you process this change as well. Even though I will be continuing to teach my regular classes and to work with my private clients, I know that being in a different role at Midtown Yoga will sometimes be awkward for me and for others.
In the 12 years that I have owned and operated Midtown Yoga, I have come to know and love so many of you. Several of my students have mentioned being sad about the upcoming change. Sadness is a natural part of letting go, an emotion we can cherish for with it comes freedom, the freedom to love more deeply, to have more compassion, and to experience more joy.
Singer songwriter Ben Lee said, “We are all in this together.” May our practices over these next 28 days bring us even closer together. Love and Light, Sarla
Wow, I am finally going public about how hard this change is for me. The voice in my head keeps screaming. ” You made this choice. Get with the program. This is what you wanted. Stop whining.”
Yeah, well I also wanted both of my divorces, but I did not go gleefully through those processes either. I have to give myself some credit. Many people avoid change at all cost simply because it is so incredibly challenging to get through it. In reading Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser, I am reminded again and again that no matter how hard the change is there is not going back.
I have no doubt that selling my business is the absolutely best thing I can do for myself, but I am still scared as Hell. I want the freedom, but am afraid to let go. I have so identified myself with the studio and all that it takes to own and operate it that I am terrified by the thought of leaving all that behind. Who will I be?
Yoga has taught me that I am “the atman, the Soul, the essence of being” which never changes. No matter what chaos is going on in and around me, yoga assures me that I am always light and joy. Well, let me tell you, it does not feel that way today.
We all gathered yesterday at Midtown Yoga to have a group photo made for the new website. I did not want to go. I did not want to participate. I want to keep teaching at Midtown Yoga. I love my students and I am committed to the well-being of the studio itself. But I want to run away from the feeling that arises when I am confronted with the reality of change. Elizabeth Lesser says that is going through these trying times, we have 2 choices: 1) to close down and become a victim, or 2) to open up and allow the pain to break us open. I chose door number 2. I have no interest in playing the role of a victim.
I return to my place of solace, to the blank page, to my writing. Here is where I bare my Soul. Here is where I open my baggage for all to see. I know that if I try to hide from myself and from you, I will get sick again. I never, ever want to have cancer again and I believe that by airing my story, by sharing my fear, my anger, my frustration, I will find, not only a respite from this trying time, but also a deeper, even more beautiful me.
Something incredible lies on the other side of the dark forest I am now entering. I stand on the edge of the woods. I see only darkness, an abyss ready to swallow me alive. The more I try to hold on, the harder this will be. Thus, I choose to let go…to free fall. I know the Light will catch me and throw me back out into the universe where I will stand among the stars and shine with all my might.
Whew do feel better?! Writing never, ever fails me. I only fail when I choose not to write.
Day 1.
Writing into the Light 