Start Where You Are – Begin Again

“Let the mind flow freely without dwelling on anything.” ~Diamond Sutra                   (Posted today by Roshi Joan Halifax)

I am going to use this as a mantra today.  “Let the mind flow freely without dwelling on anything.”  Look at the  word dwelling.  Oddly enough the word dwelling alone is defined only as a residence, a place to stay, where the verb dwell takes on a much broader meaning:

1. to live or stay as a permanent resident; reside.
2. to exist or continue in a given condition or state.
3. (of a moving tool or machine part) to be motionless for a certain interval during operation.
4. dwell on or upon, to think, speak, or write about at length or with persistence; linger over.

I like to keep things simple so how about dwelling =”staying put?”  If I dwell on something I persist:  To hold firmly and steadfastly to a purpose, state, or undertaking despite obstacles, warnings, or setbacks.  Not a horrible thing to do when applied with awareness, but  at what point do we let go?  How does one recognize that point?

The Diamond Sutra suggests we should never dwell.  Swami Rama said, “You should not have a house unless you are willing to burn it down.”  Life constantly confronts us with the dilemma of attachment versus detachment, holding on and letting go, doing and being, fear and trust, hope and emptiness.

To exist in a state of moksha, freedom, is liberation from attachment.  It does not however mean giving up, stopping all activity, or living as a renunciate.  it suggests that we not dwell on anything that clouds our perception and engagement in this present moment. Gandhi said “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” We will err.  How long we will dwell on the mistakes?  That is the question.

Both yoga and Buddhism teach us to start where we are.  Begin again and again.  Like a child who learns to walk by falling, we learn to live by our mistakes.  What works and what does not?  Overtime we accumulate knowledge and experience which enlightens our choices and our actions.  However,  The Diamond Sutra reminds us that even our knowledge and perhaps especially the evidence we accumulate, can hold us back, distort our vision and prevent us from living fully in the moment.

Begin again.  Start now wherever you are.  For the moment practice allowing the mind to flow freely.  Be willing today to relearn what it is that you do.  As you notice your mind wandering off looking for a dwelling spot, start again.  Come back to your breath, back to what is in front of you, the sky above, the room you are in, the person you are with.  If necessary begin again and again.  Notice the freshness of your touch.  Come back not to what you think you must have to survive, but to what you have now.  Be willing to unlearn the preconceived.  As I said in a post earlier this week.  Everything we know expires including us.  Consider that “all conditioned existence, without exception, is in a state of flux.”  Thus we have impermanence.  Dwell on nothing for truly we have nothing ton which to dwell.

All composed things are like a dream,
a phantom, a drop of dew, a flash of lightning.
That is how to meditate on them,
that is how to observe them.[18]

Also from The Diamond Sutra

He is coming back. Jordan is regaining consciousness.

Watching Jordan lying in bed unconscious, intubated, plugged into every kind of imaginable machine, I practiced breathing in and out.  I laid my hand on his swollen deformed one.  The plastic surgeons had come by earlier in the day to look at it.  Seems its   inflated state is a result of  multiple injections of epinephrine in an effort to get his heart to start.  The chemicals are trapped in his hand and could cause permanent damage, but the doctors will not operate until they know whether or not he will regain consciousness.  Of course, there is not point in operating if he remains in a coma.  Wow.  How will we deal with a son who is alive but uncommunicative?

I feel myself tumbling into darkness.  I cannot bear to think of him living this way.  Clenching my jaw and sucking back tears, I leave the ICU.  I must find a quiet place.  I make it half way down an empty hall when I sink into a squat.  I drop my head in to my hands and cry out,  “Divine Mother, what will I do if he does not come back?”

“Quiet, my child.  Do you not know that I love him more than you.  He is my very own son.  I am with him now.  I am watching over him.   You are not alone.”

My heart rate slows and my throat opens.  The pain in my chest subsides.  I stay right where I am and silently chant the MAHAMRITYUNJAYA MANTRA, over and over and over again. The words of Pandit Tigunait flash on the screen of my mind. “You must not tumble into darkness.”  Then, while chanting, I see them, all of them standing in a circle around me.  We are at Stone Henge.   Swami Rama holds a staff in his right hand.  He is surrounded by seers, teachers, men in long robes.  I am kneeling before them.  I feel uplifted, supported, protected and reassured by their presence.  I know they have come to help us. “He is coming back.  Jordan has a purpose to fulfill.  He will return.  Let go of all fear.  Fear is your enemy.  We are with you.”

I calmly slid up the wall and walked upright back to our camp on the outskirts of ICU.  Something has shifted.  I sense a presence with me.  My phone rings.  It is my teacher, Rod Stryker.  I had called him the day before.  He says, ” Sarla, how are you?”  I burst into tears and tell him what has just happened…what I have seen and heard.

“I knew you were not alone.  I sensed they were with you.  That is why I waited to call.   You know we are all with you.  Is there anything Gina and I can do for you?”

“Hold us in the light.  Just hold us in the light.”

Within minutes…mind you my sense of time is quite distorted…our lovely Indian doctor, whose name I cannot now recall, approached us.  Leah and I, Jordan’s two mothers, are standing side by side.  “It is a miracle.  It is a miracle.”  His Indian accent punctuates the word  miracle.  We wait.  “He is waking up.  We did not expect this.  His heart was inactive for quite some time.  People rarely return to consciousness after such long periods without a heart beat.  You must understand.  This is truly a miracle.”

I throw my arms around him, giddy with joy.

“Now,” he continues, “we must be patient.  It will take at least 2 more days for the drugs to completely clear his system.  Tomorrow we will take the tube out of his throat.  Once he starts to breathe on his own, his lung should fill out and we can then take that tube out.  One more thing.  We will not know until he is fully conscious if there is any brain damage.”

Another hurdle to jump.  We will do it.  I am confident he will be whole again.  Leah and I hug.  We must tell the others.

Why not Learn to Meditate?

If you were to ask me, what is the one thing, the one practice that you do that has the most impact on your life?”  I would have to say, meditation.  I have been meditating for over 20 years.  I admit that I have not been 100% consistent, but I have meditated enough to know that when I I do not practice, my life gets even messier than it already is.  If you are already a meditator, keep it up.  If you have yet to practice meditation, here are the steps.

The following information is excerpted directly from the Himalayan Institute website. This website is an incredible resource for information pertaining to yoga and meditation as well as the many humanitarian projects that the Institute sponsors.  If you have any questions about meditating or about my connection to the Institute, please feel free to contact me by commenting on this post or by email:  sarla@mistownyoga.com

“Meditation is not part of any religion; it is a science for calming yourself, resting the mind, systematically exploring your inner dimensions and fathoming all levels of yourself to finally experience that center of consciousness within… Commit to yourself, to your path, and to the goal of knowing yourself.”
by Swami Rama

 

Meditation progresses in 5 stages:

1. Stillness in Body

To begin to glimpse that tranquil space deep within you, work from the gross (physical) body inwards, refining your focus to more and more subtle energies. That means starting with a comfortable, grounded sitting posture that is effortless and steady. It’s fine to sit on a chair if you are not comfortable cross-legged on the floor. The important thing is to maintain a straight spine with a minimum of effort. On the floor, support the pelvis and the knees with cushions or neatly folded blankets so the thighs relax and the lower back doesn’t collapse.

2. Diaphragmatic Breathing

To further quiet your body and mind, cultivate a relaxed, smooth, and even breath through your nose. Feel the breath deep in the center of the torso (the chest is still and relaxed). Allow the breath to become slow and subtle. Practice daily in shavasana and your sitting posture.

3. Systematic Relaxation

For the third step, move your mental focus through the body, starting with your head and moving sequentially to your feet and back again. Then relax all effort and rest in whole body awareness.
Your meditation will deepen with daily practice of systematic relaxation in shavasana as well as in your sitting posture as part of your meditation method.

4. Breath Awareness

You’re in a steady and effortless seated position; you’ve established diaphragmatic breathing and released tension throughout your body. To step deeper into your meditation, turn your attention to your breath. Notice the movement of the breath at your navel center (solar plexus) and feel the touch of the breath in your nose. Feel the breath in each nostril. Track the breath in and out, even as it changes direction from inhalation to exhalation. When your mind begins to wander, bring it back to the touch of the breath in your nose.

Relax your attention and move deeper with the next step.

5. Mental Focus

On inhale, follow the flow of breath from the tip of your nostrils to your eyebrow center (deep in the middle of your forehead) and out again as you exhale. Gradually focus more on the sensation at the eyebrow center and notice the subtle energy that guides the breath in and out. Relax your attention, but return to this awareness if the mind begins to wander. If you have a personal mantra, it might arise spontaneously in this tranquil state.

“Have patience and do your practice systematically. It is not possible to meditate and not receive benefits. It takes time to see results. Be gentle with yourself. Be patient. Work with yourself gradually. Persist in your practice and you will find that meditation is a means of freeing yourself from the worries that gnaw at you. Then you are free to experience the joy of being fully present, here and now.”
by Swami Rama