Woke bright and early with a welcome jump in my step. Until today my post radiation fatigue had debilitated me. Loved drinking my morning latte as I walked the yard admiring our gardens both edibles and the spectacular flowers.
I picked 6 more yellow squash off the vines we have nursed all summer. Hard to believe they are still producing. I checked the cukes and okra, but everything present and accounted for was still in the formation stage. I will go back out later in the day.
Just another day in the life of Sarla Nichols. Fed and walked the dog. Picked up her poop. Meditated for 30 minutes. Every time I sit now I recall the 6 night, 5 day silent sesshin I just completed last week at the Upaya Zen Center outside Santa Fé. No talking, reading, or writing. No electronics thus no Facebook, email, texting, twitter, and so forth. You get the picture. I loved it. I craved the silence. Even after almost 10 hours a day on the cushion (sitting was interspersed with walking meditation, a work period spent cleaning the kitchen while my roomie scrubbed the bathrooms, one dharma talk per day, the choice of a silent walk or yoga for 45 minutes and a short rest period in the afternoon) I wanted to sit more. On the last day, I sat for the optional period from 6:00 – 7:00 am and have sat almost every day since my return on July 24.
After sitting I went on a 17 mile bike ride. When it got hard, when I got tired, I imagined that I was meditating. I always have moments of urgency right at the end of any 25 to 30 minute meditation. My mind starts to rebel and demands that I get up immediately. So as I rode, just as when I sit, I reminded myself to settle in and breathe. Stay steady. There is so much joy in completing a challenging bike ride, in sitting for extended periods, in exploring this new frontier in my life, the frontier of the steady mind, where joy outweighs suffering and stillness is more valuable than money.
Went with my neighbors, David and Mark to both Home Depot and Lowe’s searching for any last-minute beauties to plant in our yards. I bought a pool side lounge chair at Lowe’s to replace the one we had to throw away. The seat rotted out. We stopped at Cheffie’s a little sandwich and salad place around the corner from our street and had lunch. Fun and out of the box. Me eating lunch out for the second time this week. We, Jimmy and I, always eat at home, but he is in Canada. Miss him. As much as I enjoy peace and quite, I like sharing it with another person.
All in all good weekend. Amelia spent the night on Friday night. We had what she calls, “A girl’s night Gigi. We having a girl’s night, Gigi?”
“Yes, Amelia, we are having a girls’ night,” which included swimming. I should say skinny dipping. I guess I am a bad influence. I have taught my grand-daughter to skinny dip. She will never want to swim with a suit again. She said, “Gigi, your butt in the water.” And I said, “No, Amelia, your butt in the water.” And so it went back and forth. What a blast. I laughed out loud. We ate a chicken salad in front of the TV watching The animated Robin Hood for the second time. Can’t say that it is one of my favorites, but she loves it. A little bite of ice cream and 3 story books later we are in bed for the night. Not asleep, mind you, but in bed.
1:14 pm. Already. Good to sit down and write, just put some words on paper. I am more than a little nervous about the Dani Shapiro writing workshop that Cyndi Lee and I will be attending in just two short weeks. Hope I am ready to receive criticism. I ask myself every day, Am I a writer or did I spend all that time writing about my past as a way to heal? Do I have a story or stories in me that would benefit the world, would be written for the greater good? do I want to spend hours in front of the computer, alone, writing? Time will tell. Time will tell.
Writing into the Light 